if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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