I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
