dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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