Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
