based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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