Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
