the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
