she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I understand Curling. That high.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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