I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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