margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
