her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
