Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just want to make out with him forever
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
