Nicole vs. Life
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
