Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just found out that she named her cat after me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
