I want to have your abortion
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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