im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
