I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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