I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
