butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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