just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Bring me that man meat
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
