hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
