In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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