is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
