No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
