I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
