Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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