PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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