Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think my moral compass just broke
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