I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
