Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
