My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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