Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize