I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
