OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We need a shit load of segways right now
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
