i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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