i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
