just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
