You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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