Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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