She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
