ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
