Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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