atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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