I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My balls are so social today.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
