Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
foreskin is a definite game changer
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
