we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We left the knife in your bed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
