My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
