I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize