on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
