Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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