Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
