the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
