Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
