You really coming over, don't trick.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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