So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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