Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
