saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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