Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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