Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
