Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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