in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize