At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it's great music for shaving your balls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Two words: blizzard sex
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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